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Dating someone who occasionally does drugs

Is divorce the only real open to me if I am nights to move on with my traffic. BP, London An arabian is not the answer You can only nu yourself. As for your website's friends: You will always come second. Add den Report hidingbeneathanamechange Fri Jun CI, Australia End the match Respect yourself more.

Last year, he agreed to give up drugs, but he has resented this decision ever since and took one more pill recently. He Dating someone who occasionally does drugs stifled and thinks that I am blowing this all out of proportion because he is not an addict, which is true. I genuinely feel bad for not being able to cope with it better, but I also think I am right to have these views about drugs. If he loves you, he will stop When I met my now husband, he was a recreational drug user, taking mainly pills and some coke. I have always hated drugs, having seen the terrible effect they had on some of my friends, so I asked him to stop.

I explained how I felt and said that I would rather not go out with the group of friends with whom he usually took drugs, but that he was free to go ahead and see them on his own. He made the decision that he wouldn't take drugs any more, because it was important to me. I believe that if your boyfriend loves you, he will not continue to take drugs against your wishes. If it is a rare occurrence at the moment, then he should not find it too much of a hardship to stop it entirely.

Perhaps the source of tension between you is less about drugs and more about him feeling you are trying to control him. I would advise you to avoid socialising with those "friends" of his who disapprove of your principled stance. CI, London End the relationship Respect yourself more. You say you "agree to disagree", but this is obviously not true, as you are seeking advice on the issue. At 35, your partner is unlikely to stop his recreational Dating someone who occasionally does drugs use; he is also allowing you and your relationship with him to be undermined by his drug-taking friends.

You Dating someone who occasionally does drugs to be more committed to the relationship than he is, as he obviously does not take your concern about his drug-taking seriously, even though you have first-hand family experience of drugs. I watched the relationship of two close friends disintegrate because of a similar situation, so would advise you to end this relationship before things reach breaking point. You are only 25 and could find a fuller, more rewarding relationship. Learn to let go. BP, London An ultimatum is not the answer You can only change yourself. Your boyfriend probably can't see any reason to change his ways: His only motivation to change is to stop you berating him for his habit.

You say one of your siblings had a drugs problem, which caused you a lot of pain; are you reminded of this every time your boyfriend uses drugs? If so, you need to explore this more. Why continue to "sit in the corner"? If seeing someone take drugs is that distressing, why put yourself in that situation? You can't make your boyfriend stop, but you can avoid being around him when he does take drugs. Don't give him another ultimatum - take action yourself. HC, via email Try to be objective It is hard to deal objectively with emotions that overwhelm us, such as the understandable fear you experience when people close to you use drugs.

The hurtful comments made by your partner's friends are almost bound to trigger some insecurity. However, it is important to try to understand and control our reactions, when these threaten to undermine an otherwise happy relationship. Make an assessment of the extent to which your partner's behaviour poses a risk to his health or your relationship by reference to the available evidence.

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For instance, consult recent reports about the potential dangers of recreational drug use and consider the experiences of your partner and his friends, alongside what happened to your sibling. This exercise may help to calm your fears. There is a wealth of advice available on dooes with whl - exercise, yoga, dho walks and distraction are all worth considering. On the other hand, trying to control Datkng partner is both impossible and ofcasionally. Built-up resentment always seems to find an outlet. Soomeone the parent of a teenager and younger children too, I am dos trying to balance their increasing need Datibg freedom with my desire for them to eat their food and do their homework.

There Dating someone who occasionally does drugs no way I would attempt to control my partner though. As for your partner's friends: Above all, develop your someobe interests and friendships. Name and address withheld What the expert thinks: Linda Blair Most recreational drugs are illegal and all of them have potentially harmful side-effects, so you are certainly justified in holding the views you do. However, that does not mean you have the right to insist that your boyfriend shares your views. Equally, he has no right to expect you to take drugs yourself, to approve of his behaviour, or even to be with him when he takes drugs.

Ecstasy, the substance you say he uses most often, is a Class A drug. That means it is illegal to have it, sell it, or even to give it away. If your boyfriend is caught in possession of ecstasy while you are together, it will be hard for you to prove your innocence. Cocaine is a drug that can make you paranoid, suffer panic attacks, depression Run like a wind. Certainly do not have kids with him. He already has a habit if he's organising his social life around it. It's an incredibly destructive drug that turns people into arseholes. You will always come second. Add message Report hidingbeneathanamechange Fri Jun Don't get involved with it yourself either.

It's a horrible horrible drug that really messes people up. You said "I really like him but do not want to come second to a drug" but that is exactly what's going to happen, sorry. Mid 30s, you need to be with a potential life partner if you want to have children and this man isn't. Why do you then think it's times a month? Seriously, you are being incredibly naive. I'm sure he's good fun now, but what sort of future do you see? Do you want a family?